Husband's training can be started once both of you agree that from now onwards you will be the incharge and him a submissive slave. He doesn't have any rights and can be humiliated at your will publicly or in private. Here is a list of things you may want to do with him, one at a time, as a proof of his submissiveness.
He should be shaved. His pubic hair should be shaved off and he should keep himself smooth and stubble free from now on. This is non-negotiable and should be understood from the beginning.
Finger fuck him. Right after he shaves for the first time, have him sit on the edge of the bed, lie back and pull up his knees. You're going to stick your finger into his ass. Yes, you're going to finger fuck him. You will need a rubber glove and some lubricant, Vaseline, butter, olive oil, whatever. He is going to be extremely embarrassed to present himself to you in this fashion, his anus is a very private spot, not seen or touched by anyone. That is why you're doing this. Once he is in position and holding his cheeks apart, lubricate your middle finger and his asshole and slowly press your finger to his opening. Slowly start to enter him. Look into his eyes as you penetrate him. Talk to him and have him talk to you as you both experience his submissiveness to you and this act of penetration.. Think about what he is allowing you to do, he's naked, shaved and your finger fucking his ass. Pull on his cock and balls as you slide in. Go in as far as you can, slowly. Look into his eyes when you are in all the way and tell him you are in all the way. Ask him how he likes it.. This may be the first time you are inside his body, enjoy the power exchange.
Cock teasing. He needs a good cock teasing at least once a day. This doesn't mean he's going to have an orgasm, in fact he is not. But he needs to be hard and brought to the edge of an orgasm at least one time a day, either by you, or for you. "For you", means brining himself close to orgasm and stopping. Yes, this means masturbating for you, on demand. Two things here. One, he must learn to tell you he is about ready to orgasm and ask you to stop and he must learn to masturbate for you, and stop. Orgasm control is a powerful psychological aspect for a submissive man, and you too will learn to enjoy your teasing and control. It is another important power exchange with you controlling the single physical aspect of maleness that is maleness alone, a hard cock and orgasm at will. This also means that unsupervised masturbation must end, and he will only orgasm with your permission. Orgasm denial is part of this teasing
Him naked, you dressed. This should be done at awkward times, odd times, whenever you like, when he least expects it. Obviously if you're going to tease his cock, make him strip. Make him strip even if you are not going to tease him. If he doesn't usually sleep naked, he should now. In fact, anytime he is in your bedroom he should be naked. At some point, make sure you bring him to every room in the house naked. Lead him to each room naked, by his cock, the basement, laundry room and garage, all will now hold memories of your control
Nudity outside is more problematic, but should be attempted. Start with outside of your home late at night. Be careful to pick a night when you know your neighbors are away. Again, at night put him in the passenger seat of your car and tell him to strip. Put the seat all the way back. Pick some back roads and drive slowly and carefully, and DON'T drink. If you like, a highway may give a glimpse of his nudity to a trucker. He wouldn't like that, you may. Reach over with one hand and keep him hard reminding him not to cum. Don't stay out long, fifteen minutes should be enough. Pick a secluded place where you can stop to allow him to dress so he doesn't interfere with your driving.
A nude beach could also be fun. He will be naked of course and you should be in your swim suit to emphasize his submissiveness. Remember he is shaved, so anyone who sees the two of you walking together knows who's in charge. How embarrassing would a hard on make this? The object here is to be seen by as many as possible, so walk, don't sit in the sun. Well you can sit on the beach and enjoy the sun, but not until everyone has seen him naked.
Embarrassment is also part of the fun obviously. Be careful not to embarrass him or yourself in front of friends or co-workers. This must be done carefully and for the fun aspect of your dominance. Ordering wine and his dinner at a restaurant is a simple start, and one he will enjoy. While with friends for drinks or dinner, whisper in his ear, "what do you think they would think knowing you're shaved, knowing I own your orgasms". After his yearly physical ask him if the doctor said anything about his shaving.. If he works out in a gym, ask him if other men are shaved and what they look like, are they big, circumcised, big balls, small balls, compare them to him. If you have one girlfriend you can trust, and you probably don't, arrange an "accidental" flash. Remember, it only appears as an accident to your girlfriend, your guy might not like it but he'll cooperate. He is in gym shorts and a tee shirt and that is it. You can grab him and tickle him in front of your friend, accidentally pulling down his shorts exposing him, then after all the hooting and hollering, pull then all the way down and step on them. He will have to step out and run. Remember, he knows this is coming so he may be hard, and of course he is shaved. You can have a quick laugh with your friend and tell her you better see if he is OK. Go to the bedroom, strip him, grab his cock and lead him back to your girlfriend, saying, "well you have already seen him naked, you may as well get a better look." Doing the same thing in front of a couple would be more than twice as embarrassing. Proving his submissiveness can be tested with the above situation, but should also include most if not all of the list to follow.
You should orgasm much more than he does. That goes without question, his submissiveness definitely translates into you cumming more. You need to teach him how to orally please you better, and as often as you like. I know this may seem odd, but a tongue up your ass will feel great, and he wants to do it for you, so tell him that is now a part of your oral pleasure. Don't worry, you don't' have to do it for him.
Back rubs, foot rubs, leg rubs, body massages, anything you think you might like you should try, and then do as much as you like. He loves every minutes of doing anything for you, especially if he is physically close to you.
Help with house work, yard work and generally being a better partner is assumed. He can also learn to cook with your teaching. He is not your slave, but he can be a more than a 50% partner in the house holds chores you don't like doing. Delegate, delegate, delegate. He will not do things if you don't tell him to do them, and show him how you want them done. He can't read your mind, so tell him when he is doing something wrong, but more importantly tell him when he is doing something right, and ask him to do it again.
It's not all about sex but a lot of his submission is. You need to talk to him and ask him what turns him on or off. Ask him what he expects and wants. Tell him what you expect and want. Keep an open mind and don't freak out if he has some silly fetishes. He is sharing everything with you and no one else, so even if it seems pretty odd or nasty, try it, make him do it, whatever.
There is only one thing that all submissive men must learn to do. You should have this conversation with him in a non sexual environment, so the reality of the requirement is finite and unequivocal. Every time he orgasms, he must consume his ejaculate. That's right, you heard me correctly. If he ejaculates in you he must lick you clean. If he ejaculates on you, he must lick you clean. If you masturbate him or he masturbates for you, you must feed him his semen. At some point you should make him shoot into a cup or a glass and he must drink it down. This requirement for all submissive men does two things. It puts a real price on his orgasms, and it shows your acceptance of your dominance, and his acceptance of your dominance, no matter who brought the topic up. This is none negotiable and should be explained to him when he first approaches you with his desire to be submissive to you or your desire to lead the relationship. If he does not accept this simple requirement, he is not submissive. It is the only test and proof that he is sincere in his desire to be submissive, and your only requirement showing you are to assume the leadership role in the relationship.
There is much, much more of course, but you will discover things along the way. These are just a few suggestions but a good starting point for exploring this new aspect of your relationship. The most important thing is to have fun. If he approached you, he has a need. If you approached him, you have a desire to change the course of your relationship. Either way, if it is done in a loving fashion, it will be fun and bring you closer.
Sample dialogues for wives with submissive husbands.
He should be shaved. His pubic hair should be shaved off and he should keep himself smooth and stubble free from now on. This is non-negotiable and should be understood from the beginning.
Finger fuck him. Right after he shaves for the first time, have him sit on the edge of the bed, lie back and pull up his knees. You're going to stick your finger into his ass. Yes, you're going to finger fuck him. You will need a rubber glove and some lubricant, Vaseline, butter, olive oil, whatever. He is going to be extremely embarrassed to present himself to you in this fashion, his anus is a very private spot, not seen or touched by anyone. That is why you're doing this. Once he is in position and holding his cheeks apart, lubricate your middle finger and his asshole and slowly press your finger to his opening. Slowly start to enter him. Look into his eyes as you penetrate him. Talk to him and have him talk to you as you both experience his submissiveness to you and this act of penetration.. Think about what he is allowing you to do, he's naked, shaved and your finger fucking his ass. Pull on his cock and balls as you slide in. Go in as far as you can, slowly. Look into his eyes when you are in all the way and tell him you are in all the way. Ask him how he likes it.. This may be the first time you are inside his body, enjoy the power exchange.
Cock teasing. He needs a good cock teasing at least once a day. This doesn't mean he's going to have an orgasm, in fact he is not. But he needs to be hard and brought to the edge of an orgasm at least one time a day, either by you, or for you. "For you", means brining himself close to orgasm and stopping. Yes, this means masturbating for you, on demand. Two things here. One, he must learn to tell you he is about ready to orgasm and ask you to stop and he must learn to masturbate for you, and stop. Orgasm control is a powerful psychological aspect for a submissive man, and you too will learn to enjoy your teasing and control. It is another important power exchange with you controlling the single physical aspect of maleness that is maleness alone, a hard cock and orgasm at will. This also means that unsupervised masturbation must end, and he will only orgasm with your permission. Orgasm denial is part of this teasing
Him naked, you dressed. This should be done at awkward times, odd times, whenever you like, when he least expects it. Obviously if you're going to tease his cock, make him strip. Make him strip even if you are not going to tease him. If he doesn't usually sleep naked, he should now. In fact, anytime he is in your bedroom he should be naked. At some point, make sure you bring him to every room in the house naked. Lead him to each room naked, by his cock, the basement, laundry room and garage, all will now hold memories of your control
Nudity outside is more problematic, but should be attempted. Start with outside of your home late at night. Be careful to pick a night when you know your neighbors are away. Again, at night put him in the passenger seat of your car and tell him to strip. Put the seat all the way back. Pick some back roads and drive slowly and carefully, and DON'T drink. If you like, a highway may give a glimpse of his nudity to a trucker. He wouldn't like that, you may. Reach over with one hand and keep him hard reminding him not to cum. Don't stay out long, fifteen minutes should be enough. Pick a secluded place where you can stop to allow him to dress so he doesn't interfere with your driving.
A nude beach could also be fun. He will be naked of course and you should be in your swim suit to emphasize his submissiveness. Remember he is shaved, so anyone who sees the two of you walking together knows who's in charge. How embarrassing would a hard on make this? The object here is to be seen by as many as possible, so walk, don't sit in the sun. Well you can sit on the beach and enjoy the sun, but not until everyone has seen him naked.
Embarrassment is also part of the fun obviously. Be careful not to embarrass him or yourself in front of friends or co-workers. This must be done carefully and for the fun aspect of your dominance. Ordering wine and his dinner at a restaurant is a simple start, and one he will enjoy. While with friends for drinks or dinner, whisper in his ear, "what do you think they would think knowing you're shaved, knowing I own your orgasms". After his yearly physical ask him if the doctor said anything about his shaving.. If he works out in a gym, ask him if other men are shaved and what they look like, are they big, circumcised, big balls, small balls, compare them to him. If you have one girlfriend you can trust, and you probably don't, arrange an "accidental" flash. Remember, it only appears as an accident to your girlfriend, your guy might not like it but he'll cooperate. He is in gym shorts and a tee shirt and that is it. You can grab him and tickle him in front of your friend, accidentally pulling down his shorts exposing him, then after all the hooting and hollering, pull then all the way down and step on them. He will have to step out and run. Remember, he knows this is coming so he may be hard, and of course he is shaved. You can have a quick laugh with your friend and tell her you better see if he is OK. Go to the bedroom, strip him, grab his cock and lead him back to your girlfriend, saying, "well you have already seen him naked, you may as well get a better look." Doing the same thing in front of a couple would be more than twice as embarrassing. Proving his submissiveness can be tested with the above situation, but should also include most if not all of the list to follow.
You should orgasm much more than he does. That goes without question, his submissiveness definitely translates into you cumming more. You need to teach him how to orally please you better, and as often as you like. I know this may seem odd, but a tongue up your ass will feel great, and he wants to do it for you, so tell him that is now a part of your oral pleasure. Don't worry, you don't' have to do it for him.
Back rubs, foot rubs, leg rubs, body massages, anything you think you might like you should try, and then do as much as you like. He loves every minutes of doing anything for you, especially if he is physically close to you.
Help with house work, yard work and generally being a better partner is assumed. He can also learn to cook with your teaching. He is not your slave, but he can be a more than a 50% partner in the house holds chores you don't like doing. Delegate, delegate, delegate. He will not do things if you don't tell him to do them, and show him how you want them done. He can't read your mind, so tell him when he is doing something wrong, but more importantly tell him when he is doing something right, and ask him to do it again.
It's not all about sex but a lot of his submission is. You need to talk to him and ask him what turns him on or off. Ask him what he expects and wants. Tell him what you expect and want. Keep an open mind and don't freak out if he has some silly fetishes. He is sharing everything with you and no one else, so even if it seems pretty odd or nasty, try it, make him do it, whatever.
There is only one thing that all submissive men must learn to do. You should have this conversation with him in a non sexual environment, so the reality of the requirement is finite and unequivocal. Every time he orgasms, he must consume his ejaculate. That's right, you heard me correctly. If he ejaculates in you he must lick you clean. If he ejaculates on you, he must lick you clean. If you masturbate him or he masturbates for you, you must feed him his semen. At some point you should make him shoot into a cup or a glass and he must drink it down. This requirement for all submissive men does two things. It puts a real price on his orgasms, and it shows your acceptance of your dominance, and his acceptance of your dominance, no matter who brought the topic up. This is none negotiable and should be explained to him when he first approaches you with his desire to be submissive to you or your desire to lead the relationship. If he does not accept this simple requirement, he is not submissive. It is the only test and proof that he is sincere in his desire to be submissive, and your only requirement showing you are to assume the leadership role in the relationship.
There is much, much more of course, but you will discover things along the way. These are just a few suggestions but a good starting point for exploring this new aspect of your relationship. The most important thing is to have fun. If he approached you, he has a need. If you approached him, you have a desire to change the course of your relationship. Either way, if it is done in a loving fashion, it will be fun and bring you closer.
Sample dialogues for wives with submissive husbands.
- Go get the lotion. I need you to rub my feet.
- Run my bath for me. And while I'm in there get started on the laundry.
- Get up, Sweetheart, and make me some coffee and an English muffin with butter.
- You did a nice job cleaning the bathrooms; I am very pleased with you.
- I want a full body massage for exactly one hour; keep an eye on the clock. When you are done I want you to go down on me until I tell you to stop. Afterwards, we'll both go to sleep. You won't be having an orgasm tonight.
- I'm going out with the girls tonight. While I'm gone you can work on the laundry.
- I want you writing down everything that you eat. I want to monitor your eating habits so that I can make some changes. Also, you'll be starting an exercise program this week.
- I think I need to put you on a budget. At the beginning of every week, I'll give you an allowance. If an emergency comes up, please feel free to come to me and we can discuss giving you some extra money.
As a husband,i love to be submissive to my wife
ReplyDeleteas a newly submissive husband I am finding it difficult. it is a drastic change in many ways. I already did a lot of the housework and the cooking. the cooking because I was a chef and I am much better at it but the housework was evidence apparently of my inner submissiveness. that is however not the problem. neither is masturbation because I never did to begin with because a) I had a wife for that and b) because I find it a huge turn off. my issue is the orgasm thing. I haven't had an orgasm since and its been about a month. my wife milks me every sunday and it helps the build up and release a bit but is no comparison to an orgasm. I don't know how long shes going to keep this up because she thinks I am more attentive on edge, maybe I am. also she collects my seeds in a cup and I have to drink it. its gross but she used to swallow so I cant complain... also she wants to start using a dildo to milk me and I am very scared of her starting to fuck me. terrified in fact. but I know I must obey. things are so different now and I don't think she wants to go back to the way things were.
ReplyDeleteSomething is wrong here if you cannot confide your fears to her. What would she say or do if you told her what additional ways you would serve her if she were to allow you to orgasm? I know the thought of anal penetration can be scary, but hopefully she is trustworthy and will not damage you. The best thing you can do to prepare yourself is to calmly accept it. Once it is no longer new to you, I believe you will find it to be wonderfully pleasurable and look forward to it with fond anticipation.
ReplyDeleteWards, You shouldn't be scared...pegging is way fun if you do it right...you a a luck man enjoy.
ReplyDeleteMatriarchy is obviously the preferred arrangement. You can tell by natural it feels. Male submission to Female Authority IS modern marriage. I love serving and obeying a wife who is my superior. If I get a good grade on my Weekly Evaluation then the mcd comes off..otherwise the key goes back around he neck...
ReplyDeleteHello. My husband has approached me, confided his fantasies, and asked if I'll try FLR with him. We've been married 20 years, and I love him, and I want to try to meet some of his sexual needs and fantasies. He gave me a list of links to read, and this is one of them. Not trying to be rude, but if you're writing this to truly convince a regular gal, you need to change your tone. Please, just take a step back, re-read this post, and imagine an average woman reading it. Can you see how much of a turn off it is?
ReplyDeleteMy DH said that he wants to serve me, worship me, obey my every command. Okay . But consider this. If FLR is truly about me being in charge and him catering to my needs and desires, then why does this article read like, "Your husband wants you to dominate him. This is exactly what you need to do, and this is exactly how you should act. They call that "topping from the bottom ". For example:
1)"Yes, that's right, his pubic hair should be shaved off and he should keep himself smooth and stubble free from now on. This is none negotiable and should be understood from the beginning"
Since I'm supposedly in charge, can I negotiate about that? I'm married to grown man. I'm not okay with his junk looking like a 12 year old boy. Eww.
2)"You're going to stick your finger into his ass. Yes, you're going to finger fuck him. "
Umm....no. No, I'm not going to do that. Not sexy. If my hubs wants a finger up his ass, he can use his own, and I don't want to see that.
3)"He needs a good cock teasing at least once a day"
Yes sir! Since I'm the goddess, and calling all the shots here, I'm glad I have this post to tell me what I HAVE to do, since I'm in charge of this relationship.
4)"At some point, make sure you bring him to every room in the house naked. Lead him to each room naked, by his cock, the basement, laundry room and garage, all will now hold memories of your control "
Do I have to keep a straight face for that? I hope the memories of my control aren't overshadowed by uncontrollable laughter
5)"There is only one thing that all submissive men must learn to do"
" Every time his orgasms, he must consume his ejaculate."
Well! Again, since I'm in control here thanks for telling me what MUST happen. Semen makes me queasy. I've always been a "spit" girl, and I sure don't want to see him do it. I'd probably get nauseous from the sight.
Don't you understand that all women are different, even the kinky ones? Some of us don't want 90% of our orgasms to be from oral. Some of us don't like battery powered toys. Some of us prefer to orgasm by being crammed full of big, hard, cock. (Gasp!!)
Whoever wrote this has watched a lot of porn. And the problem with porn is, it creates a fantasy world that doesn't equate to real life. It uses women. They are selling themselves for your gratification. And then you write this article, saying "he wants to serve you, worship you, obey your commands, oh and here's a list of what you need to do". You're using your partner like a porn star, and at the expense of your partners desires, under the guise of "I want you to be in control ". That is, as long as it conforms to the erotica you've seen and read. There are a lot of women who will be offended by this. Some will try to go along with it, because girls are programmed from an early age to please. Is that really treating your wife like a "goddess"?
So if I were a guy, I'd concentrate more on what she wants. For me, a greater sign of my man submitting to me would be watching less football, and playing less golf, not shaving his junk, eating his cum, or having one orgasm for my 20. If you guys out there aren't willing to do stuff like that, then maybe you're not the submissive type. Best wishes to you all!
Yay Chloe.
DeleteI am glad to read that someone else sees the disconnect between fantasies of being done and the real life adventure of following a woman's lead, even temporarily, in a relationship. I wish I could present my marriage as an shining example of how following works. But that is not the case, sadly. Illness and fate has us struggling with intimacy. Though when reading/viewing so much about femdom/flr/wlm/blahblahblah I am struck by the lack of intimacy between those engaged and so suspect that many are struggling with intimacy. A complex demanding structure that may help me grow as a person is presented by David Schnarch, author of the book "Passionate Marriage". It's worth a read if a robust intimacy is what one seeks and isn't looking for a "fix". And in the very short term if you do want to fulfill your wife's dreams then ask her if she wants to go dancing. If yes then street latin will probably do more for her than having her have you do something that doesn't float her boat.
Chloe, thank you for interjecting a bit of reality into this discussion on "Husband Training." I have found that Fantasy Play has decreased since we transitioned into a real Wife-Led Marriage. The reality is that I do more chores, play less golf, and am quickly learning to accept her authority as the head of the household. Adopting the Japanese "salaryman" financial arrangement has done more to create the submissive mindset than anything else. We set up our banking to prevent my access to any funds without her permission, which is very humbling.
DeleteI'm glad it works for you and your spouse. Looking back, I wrote that comment quite a few months ago, and at the time I was a little upset and frazzled. Since then my husband and I have found a level of FLR that works for us. I just want to say to all who read this thread that I hope I didn't step on any toes. I wouldn't want to disrespect another couples idea of play. Best wishes!
DeleteChloe, as a man who has fantasies about mild submissiveness including orgasm control and nakedness, but not really the more extreme things listed above, I'm interested in what your FLR consists of.
DeleteMy wife is not very kinky at all, and has said that she doesn't like the idea of denying me orgasms. She's into normal penetrative sex and doesn't really want a kinky husband. I just want to find something which works for both of us.
You sound like someone who's open minded but grounded in reality. Can you tell us a bit about your FLR?
This one page is definitely worth printing.
ReplyDeleteExcellent ideas. I am getting shaved completely in less then two weeks. August 27th to be exact. It will still be hot but I have new white shorts I can wear that you can see through to my flowered panties and a nice short sleeved blouse and bra to wear. And the nude beach idea is perfect. I have a black thong bikini I can wear to get some really obvious Sissy Tan Lines.
ReplyDeleteMy mistress wife tried several chastity lock on me for five years but she wasn't satisfied any of them due to various reasons. Four months ago she asked me that she wanted to put me a special chastity lock on my cock.
ReplyDeleteOne day she took me to the bed and put the hand cuff on me and tied up my legs to the bed. Then she put some ice around my cock and she asked me to close my eyes.Then I felt unbearable pain on my cock, but I can't make noise as my mouth was fully taped by her.
I realised she pierced my cock as she has prearranged everything. She was claiming that she hasn't been sexually satisfied by me so far. So she wanted to pierced my penis head and put few surgical steel barbells through the penis head. When she finished her piercing I was numbed and exhausted.
After one hour, she released me and told me that get ready for next piercing after two weeks’ time. When I looked at my cock I saw she has put two barbells crossing each other. I know she was searching the internet, saying she wanted to find some ways to get maximum sexual satisfaction.
After three weeks time and before completely healing my previous piercing, she took me to the bed again and restrained me using handcuffs and leg chains. That day she told me that it wouldn't be so much painful as my previous piercings. Then she closed my mouth and then pierced my penis head horizontally.
Now you can see what she wanted to do; after three weeks time she put a new chastity lock on my cock that is going through my cock head. She has used two parts from previously ordered two chastity devices. This lock is simple but It is totally escaped proof. She is very happy about this new chastity lock which made by herself, because it is easy to put on my cock by her after she was fully satisfied every night.
My mistress wife is strict and firm she would do anything she wants to do. If I made any mistake she doesn’t hesitate to punish me leaving overnight with handcuff. So I am very scared make her angry any time.
I forgot to tell you about her ownership tattoo on me, three months ago she took me to a tattoo artist as she had arranged before. Then I was tattooed by tattoo artist according to her instructions, Finally I got her name tatoo on my secret area at just above my cock. Now I can’t escape from her because I have totally owned by her. When she is driving with me she uses to put a cock chain on to the padlock of my chastity lock. Also when she wants to take me to the bed room she doesn’t say any word, just hook up the cock chain and pull away me to take the bed room.
When I walk outside with her she put me on a thigh restrain to restrict my walking speed so I am following her very slowly. She gets all ideas about her dominance by reading blogs on the internet.